BBCFour repeat here.
Full chart here.
Introduced by Peter Powell....and Elton John. Elton John?
Well it's back: after a nine week hiatus The Pops was back on our Thursday night screens and the arrival of a 'guest presenter' with the regular Radio 1 DJ already hinted at the fact this was An All New TOTP, folks. Now let's get on with the chart rundown and see who's number one....
Wha? No chart rundown? Only a preview of "what's coming up" over some old 70s rock music? So how are we supposed to know who's no. 1 and know when the show is over when it comes on at the end? Whaddya mean you're not supposed to know? Oh well..let's see if this new-fangled idea works, shall we? A new broom will only sweep well for a bit.
Powell does indeed duly give us a preview of the main acts which are coming up, albeit out of sync. There does seem to be an awful lot of movement .. .lots of dancing and bright lights. Whatever next!
The Piranhas - Tom Hark
OK let's get this thing started. Lots of new features already but starting off with a 'novelty' band/song is an old trick that obviously hasn't been put to bed. Here's a whacky ska-reggae pub band sort of affair miming badly to their instruments. The highlight seems to be a stand-up drummer, bare and oily chested, 'playing' drums with a pair of...cucumbers? He sort of reminds me of Christian Bale in American Psycho which is a tad disturbing, as is this whole set-up. Now at no. 26, it would reach the Top 10 within a couple of weeks. Oh and since we weren't given The Chart Rundown, behold! There's now a futuristic computer graphic at the end of each song telling you name of the band and chart position! Wow!
Diana Ross - Upside Down
The inter-presenter banter continues as both men admit they can't whistle (pah!) and Elton confesses he tried to kill off disco, now "rearing its ugly head" again with Ms. Ross at No. 2. Well shucks to you for not being able to kill off Nile/Rodgers with your pathetic ballads Reg! Bit of a weird grainy, filmic collage promo for Diana, but no matter; this was already a big summer hit based on its radio play only and a bit of a classic in the making. Kept off the top spot only by the mighty .. oops not allowed to reveal anything!
Roxy Music - Oh Yeah
John gives us a bit of useless (and largely incomprehensible) banter about Chic and then states 'onto better things' .. as some of his pals are in the studio. Roxy Music seem to have timed their single releases to coincide with The Strike, as they were on the last programme before It happened and here they are again bang on schedule in The New Pops. The second single off Flesh + Blood album didn't disappoint. Another classic and this time Bryan Ferry has some decent trousers even though he moves as if his feet were stuck to the floor, but i suppose he can get away with that.
Tom Browne - Funkin' For Jamaica
Elton seems to have gone for a lie-down after all that strenuous presenting work, so Pete's on his own to introduce Tom Browne and LEGS AND CO!! WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING PETE!? Oh .. I see. Not content to give us the odd glimpse of their pants up to know, the Legs are actually performing....IN THEIR UNDIES! Sexy! Raunchy! Hot! ..oh no sorry I mean NO! this is blatant sexist rubbish and should be banned off the BBC! It's disgusting! However we do get to learn each individual's name thanks to that new-fangled computer graphics machine. Good song too. Was it?
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| This is Sue. Apparently. pic.: BBC cameraman |
Oh wait. Pay attention. It's the Charts! Only from no. 30 to 21 though.
Hot Chocolate - Are You Getting Enough of What Makes You Happy?
Phew! A bit steamy this title too innit? Where's Mary Whitehouse these days? Like Roxy, the Chocs were also on the last Pops, but were less successful with this fairly unmemorable number. Perfectly fine to whiggle to though, just look at al the kids! Dancing!
More chart rundown? Oh I get it...it's the charts a bit at a time. Nice idea. Might even catch on.
Kelly Marie - Feels Like I'm In Love
Let's have something new at last shall we? What's this? A wee Scottish red-haired lassie doing the disco thing with two strapping dark-skinned chappies in tight bodywear? Och, the brazen hussie! But the British public loves this kind of singer of course and this song would have Kelly whizzing up the charts all the way up to no, 1, although I really shouldn't be telling you this of course.
GAP Band - Oops Upside Your Head
More wiggly disco stuff , this time from o'er the water. Oklahoma to be precise. Already at no. 6 although didn't get any further on the strength of this poor 'live' promo-video. And no I won't go into that embarrassing eighties dance craze that this song had started off. You know the one where everyone sits on the floor,one behind the other and.....
Gibson Bros. - Mariana
Oh no! More dancing! Live in the studio! With coloured balloons! Can you cope? The Gibson siblings are back with a 'long-awaited' follow up to the Cuba/Salsa thing earlier in the year. They're obviously well in with Flick Colby too as, and not for the first time, there are assorted Legs dancing along, although sadly not in their knickers anymore. Well they are in their knickers but with other stuff as well. But we digress. Do the Eighties start here?
Elton John has completely disappeared by the way. Probably trying to 'kill off disco' somewhere. But here's a nice interlude .. the ones we missed "while we were away" (see also my very own blogpost below). More bottom-wiggling to Odyssey, some nice Olivia Newton-John/ELO, plus the woeful Don McClean...
Sheena Easton - 9 to 5
Second wee Scottish artiste of the night although an all together more modern girl (geddit?) compared to red-head Kelly. Easton had been the subject of an episode of the BBC's The Big Time documentary series, which in her case followed the lassie's career up to recording and launch of Modern Girl, which however failed to make any big impression, and indeed 'the big time' back in April (of which we are reminded via a short clip). Not so this catchy number which shot her to stardom (dragging 'Modern Girl' along with it) making Sheena one of the first big stars of the Eighties. Totally un-p.c. subject matter now of course: woman sings about her successful man out at work while she waits all day for him to come home so that they can 'make love' and 'take off'. Hmmm. Acceptable in the (early) eighties, just like the green jumpsuit with matching white boots. Cute though.
Bad Manners - Lip Up Fatty
Elton's back, although he's obviously been out because he's now got his mac on, or just getting ready to 'take off'? For some reason he's given the arduous task of presenting Bad Manners and their latest one which had been going around for quite a bit, such that it may even had qualified for the whacky newcomer spot on the last Pops before The Strike, had it not been for Liquid Gold. But anyway here they are being 'nutty' or whatever, although sadly still very much stuck in the late seventies I'm afraid. 'Lip Up Fatty' is in no way Eighties, jumpsuit or not.
Chart countdown from no. 10 to no. 2 with a snippet of a performance of each song, Pops studio or other, which is good because we get to see a few seconds of Kate Bush's splendid Babooshka video. Just a tiny bit, mind. Then, at last, it's... No. 1 time!
Abba - The Winner Takes It All
It's not easy to explain how big Abba were at the time or even why perhaps, but there was something already inherently eighties in their pop stardom, even though most of it happened in the seventies. Which is why it's sort of appropriate we should be seeing them at the top spot in this first TOTP eighties-style proper. Does that make any sense? Possibly not, but even though this is a sloppy ballad about a twenty-something couple divorcing and suffering the consequences, as a spotty 16 year old I could somehow totally relate to it. Plus I wanted to marry Agnetha after this of course, knowing that she had now become single, and they had some great eighties clothes in Sweden. First week at no. 1 after a momentary pause at no. 9, and like the song, the video is also now nigh-legendary.
George Benson - Give Me the Night
Elton John decides to adopt a faux-Irish accent when promoting his new single with Pete. I'm sure there must be a reason for that. Somewhere. he even manages to re-state his dislike of disco music before p****ing off to America and Australia or wherever. I'd much rather have stayed on the stage to jig about with all those pastel shades and jumpsuits. I'd really like to know who that girl with hat at the front is/was. Looks like a budding New Romantic..
That was quite a strenuous re-opening night. Better make a cup of tea.
See ya next week!
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