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TOTP 80.30 25/09/80

First broadcast 25/09/80
BBCFour repeat here, first shown 01/10/15
Presented by Mike Read
Guest presenters: Leo Sayer / Russ Abbott
Full chart here.


We're back! Yes indeed, after a lengthy hiatus due to Proms, BBC programming and other shenanigans your fave programme is back on the telly on a Thursday night where it always should be so to hell with the washing-up and let's get started. Over to you Mike..

No! Wait..! Where's Mike the Presenter? This is The Police thrashing around in school master garb!.. Diana Ross on her ol' Joanna and some other chaps flapping about in garish "carnival" costumes! Oh phew, here's Mike at last, in sensible-yet-trendy jacket 'n' thin tie . .had me going for a moment there.


Black Slate - Amigo
New in the charts at 35 so perfect for the slot of 'quirky' newcomer to open the show. But oh dear, what's with the over sized Speedy Gonzalez sombrero an' ting? Well, apparently according to wiki, it was "their Rastafarian rallying call". Well good for them, even though 'amigo' is actually Spanish for 'friend', no? I suppose that explains the sombrero. Don't want to give any spoilers or anything but this one shot up to no. 10 the following week, presumably on the back of this performance and having rallyed lots of Rastafarians.

Interval (already?) - and up pops chirpy chappy Leo Sayer, and what a splendid opportunity for Mike Read to do his Cliff Richard impression.
Next!

Split Enz - I Got You
Better cool things down a bit after all that Rastafarianism and get some clean white boys on to do a more sensible number. This one was creeping verrrry slowly up the charts although got a further leg-up after this repeat showing. They were Australian of course, but thankfully not a hat with corks on in sight.
Their only hit.

Diana Ross - My Old Piano
Mike Read obviously needed a bit a lie down after that cabaret number cos it's just Sayer to introduce this promo of Ms. Ross and her latest about a piano, in which the chanteuese duly cavorts around a (not so old) piano. Flick Colby take note. Another Edwards/Rogers produced Top 10 success after last summer's excellent Upside Down.

Queen - Another One Bites the Dust (Legs & Co.)
Ooooh! Speaking of ver Legs here they now, in quiet possibly their weirdest dance costumes ever. Actually it's all looking a bit 'New Romantic' even though that hasn't been invented yet. Stage designers have also evidently had a bit more time on their hands this week and have constructed a kind of corridor in a Japanese restaurant for the girls to do their thing in. And if that wasn't enough it's special effects galore to boot! I'd like to think that Bowie's Ashes to Ashes video was a big influence here, but who can say? Queen had indeed gone Top 10 with this John Deacon penned number although sadly this all-out Legs performance did little to aid its chart success. Still an ace track though.

are you ready, are ready for this?
Prior to the 30-20 chart rundown there's a short appearance from Russ Abott who, unlike Leo Sayer, is/was actually genuinely funny. Most singles in the 30-20 bracket going down, save for Bob Marley and the afore-featured Split Enz.

Ottowan - D.I.S.C.O.
Well while Queen were at least trying to do something new with 'disco' this kind of 70s-leftovers was still making it through. Mike Know-All Read has to tell us of course that this single was already a year old and that Ottawan have little or no English. Just one place behind Queen although they went on to effectively leap-frog them to reach the giddy heights of the top 3. Where's the justice?

Rundown 19-11 - quite a few post-Strike big names on the way down: Cliff, Bowie, Berry, Sheena, Sabbath, Jam, obviously leaving for space for new and exciting stuff. Some hope.

Shalamar - I Owe You One
Seems to be some kind of disco 'theme' running through this week's show, much to our chagrin. Wish they'd hurry up and invent the New Romantics. What's that? Get down the The Blitz Club if you want some new styles, new shapes...? But for the moment we're stuck with  this kind of thing. We'll be hearing more from the Shals a couple of years hence, so tune in again around 2017, Shalamar fans as this might be your lot as far as 1980/2015 goes.

Russ Abbot/Teddy Boy introduces...

Linx - You're Lying
And here's some quality Brit-disco at last. Linx were still a fairly labour-intensive soul/funk combo apparently coming out of nowhere, or perhaps from an underground Brit-soul/funk movement which has probably already been featured on a BBCFour documentary. But no matter, this really was rather good and went down well on the dance-floors of the nation, kick-starting a successful career for the David Grant/Peter Martin duo. Some ace state-of-the-art keys on stage here and they were even 'cred' enough to be featured on a future cassette compilation issued by the ultra-cred NME, rubbing shoulders with the likes of Scritti Politti, Cabaret Voltaire and, er, Furious Pig.

Top 10 rundown. and you have to listen very attentively to Read to find out what's going up or down, plus get some really interesting info about each artist. From one clip we even see that Sheena's Modern Girl works in a Chiropody Clinic. Fact.


The Police - Don't Stand So Close To Me
Although they'd done pretty well up to now, mega-stardom status for The Police officially begins here with this single staying at the top for four weeks, and likewise its parent album Zenyatta Mondatta released a week or so later. Love 'em or hate 'em Sting and pals going straight to number one (the seventh in history, right Mike?) with this new song was a due testament to their popularity and sale-ability at the time. That said, perhaps the success of the 'Don't Stand..' follow-up (which we won't mention for now) may also be a testament to the fact that the British public would eagerly snap up any old rubbish with 'The Police' written on it. But credit where credit's due for Sting's semi-autobiographical tale of a wanton schoolgirl trying to get close to 'teach' possibly in the hope of getting a better school report, or perhaps even more. A scholarly reference to 'that book by Nabakov' is somewhat counter-balanced by rhyming said author's surname with the word 'cough', and a rather shoddy promo-film showed how erstwhile 'punk' was becoming mainstream, but of course the New Romantics will be putting a bit of a shine on videos before long.


..the subject, of schoolgirl fantasies..

The chart-topping trio is soon replaced by a shambolic presenter-trio who wrap up the show with a pitiful "sketch" in which Read is suddenly heavily pregnant and nearly knocked over by a psueudo-superhero.

Change - Searching (playout)
Groan. More MOR disco to finish up, although I was surprised and interested to discover that Change actually originated in Bologna, Italy (home of lasagna and the world's oldest university) with a bit of americano/NY sparkle laid over the top like a generous sprinkling of Parmesan cheese. This one features the talents of a fledgling lead-vocalist Luther Vandross, no less, and as well as being a huge success Stateside was also doing quite well UK-side so we might be hearing it again soon.

A pretty spritely play-out with balloons, dancing and streamers! Is this the 1980s?

We might find out next week..t'ra!

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