TOTP 80.29 18/09/80

Full chart here

Presented by Simon Bates and Olivia Newton-John (phwoar).

and what's so funny about my nose then?

Well not sure what "small problems" The Pops were (still) having, but it seems to mean that we have Simes and Olivia in a studio with just one cameraman with some repeated footage and promo videos edited in, and no Legs & Co.!. Which all makes for a very dull show and not very 'eighties' at all. Not to mention Bates wearing the worst jacket/suit/tie combo ever worn on the telly. Ever.

Somewhat wearily, we press on...

XTC - Generals and Majors
Fortunately this new single from The Partridge Boys had one of those new-fangled promo-videos (films) to go with it, so at least we get the novelty opener albeit in a new format. Virgin were wont to pumping a lot of funds into XTC, as can be seen from their often extravagant (ie. expensive) singles sleeves (picture sleeves, fold-outs, free games..the lot). As Symes rightly points out there was even a special documentary made about the band making their new album ("Black Sea"). I remember it being particularly interesting seeing how they got that clanging sound in Towers of London. Again a very expensive way to launch a new single, but Branson was paying so who cares. Somewhat undeservedly this failed to make the Top 30. Keep trying guys.

Randy Crawford - One Day I'll Fly Away
Repeat of a previous performance but emotional, nonetheless. Randy had also beat Elvis (Presley) to the no. 2 spot, so extra kudos to her.

Stevie Wonder - Masterblaster (Jammin')
Where did this come from? Wonder has seen his way (ehem) to no. 4 already with his first hit of the 80s and indeed for quite a long time. Nice summer hit, even though it's already September and raining.

Sheena Easton - Modern Girl
Here she is again .. I've lost count of how many times our Sheen's been on but she's now at her peak of no. 8 and we won't be seeing her again for a bit. But credit where credit's due - she's probably about the most 'eighties' thing about the show. I hadn't seen this before but there's a classic Pops moment when Sheens gets camera-bombed by a po-go-ing punk in the audience!

Sheena....

...bombing!

Nick Straker Band - A Walk in the Park
This was stuck at no. 20 (and continued so for another week) but we're a bit short of material so Nick and pals get a re-run before falling into oblivion. Did Simes just say he's "hanging on for grim death"? Pwahahahahaa.

Just to liven things up a bit here's Bill Gates, er no sorry, Jonathan King with a not-so-subtle advert for the Rubrik's cube:

separated at birth

Madness - Baggy Trousers
They're back: the band that kicked off the 80s Pops are with us again with some new material. They haven't lost they're 'nutty' edge (yet) with this one, their response to Another Brick in the Wall, since it's a more light-hearted throwback to school days and (no) edu-cayshun. A taste of their forthcoming album Absoloutely.

..and another guest! It's Wonder Woman! In a Chinese jacket!

Billy Joel - It's Still Rock n Roll To Me
Enough of Camden Town already, let's go Stateside. Another non-mover at no. 14 and it didn't get much higher, although another step towards Joel's Uptown Girl god-like status.

Kelly Marie - Feels Like I'm in Love
Phew, it's no. 1 already and here's Kells to put us all out of our agony, even though Simes seems to have enjoyed all the attention, possibly because that's what being a DJ is all about.

Queen - Another One Bites the Dust
Hasn't this been a playout one before? Queen may have updated their sound (a bit) but obviously still hadn't caught on to the new-fangled video malarkey. These 70s dinosaurs will never last.


Hey ho, another show over. The BBCOne site rather dourly tells us that there are "no upcoming debut broadcasts" ..debut?....as BBCFour makes way for The Posh Proms (c) which is possibly just as well as we all need a break.

See you some time in the future, by which time The Pops will have sorted out its "small problems". We hope.

TOTP 80.27 04/09/80

Presented by DLT and Kevin Keegan so not repeated. Keegan's perm obviously considered too offensive in this day and age.

But anyway here's the full chart and the list of acts/songs featured:

Secret Affair - Sound of Confusion
Follow up to the rather spiffing My World, at no. 45 but did no better.

Kelly Marie - Feels Like I'm in Love
There's a new no. this week but this isn't it. up to no. 3.

Nick Straker Band - A Walk in the Park
Catchy summer hit at no. 22.

Hazel O'Connor - Eighth Day
Ironically beating Gary Numan to the No. 5 spot.

Billy Joel - It's Still Rock n Roll To Me - (Legs & Co.)
The Leggies are back after their brief summer holidays, in some exotic location, no doubt. Sadly we didn't get to see their routine to Joel's new one, now at no. 20.

Cliff Richard - Dreamin'
More male solo stuff with Sir Cliff at no. 10.

Sheena Easton - Modern Girl
With 9 to 5 already on its way down, Sheens gets to perform her other hit, now at no. 13.

The Beat - Best Friend
As mentioned last week it was probably Stand Down Margaret that was shifting the units on this 7" but here's the more acceptable and uncensored other A side. (promo video).

Randy Crawford - One Day I'll Fly Away
A touch of class is tonight's rather raunchy homegrown line-up. Have a look at the video recording here cos it's a bit of a classic.

The Jam - Start!
A surprising new no. 1 although the fanbase was huge by this time, which may explain its rather short reign. A lot of us heard Taxman for the first time too.

The Clash - Bankrobber
Up to no. 12 although The Clash were still no-show so you just get the the playout spot and loads of kids going mad on stage again, probably.

TOTP 80.25 21/08/80

BBCFour repeat here.
Full chart here.

In true 1970's/early 80's being on holiday and not having a telly therefore missing TOTP on Thursday night style I was again on holiday last week without a telly (in the year 2015 tut!), and so duly missed Thursday's show. So I've called in guest reviewer Gaztronix to give this week's Pops the once over.
Over to you Gaz!....

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Presented by Steve Wright with a youthful looking Sir Clifford of Richard* by his side all Smashy n Nicey

pic: popscene

We kick off with the Nick Straker Band and massive European holiday song A Walk In The Park. The guy in charge of TOTP FX is having a bit of a freeze-frame meltdown. Mr Straker has the most amazing hair - I'm sure it's inspired a Mighty Boosh skit or two.

Back to Steve n Cliff with some repartee on Sheena Easton. Easton, performing Modern Girl, has thankfully dropped the look that made her look like Gary Numan's younger sister and had opted for a style best described as 'Disco Sue Lawley'. Fair do's. There is a synth solo in this song - it's amazingly bad even for 1980 - I had to play it again. It was THAT bad.

Just Steve now - maybe Clifford has gone to check with his portrait in the attic. We get given what we get which is a video of The Jam performing 'Watch You Give Is What You Get.' Proper 80s vid it is too - intense staring at bright lights through Venetian blinds (what was it about the early 80s Venetian blinds phase?) (ed. the song title is actually 'Start!')

Smashy has gone, so we get Nicey Sir Cliff who looks a lot like Mike Read. Not Runaraaaaaaaahnd Mike Read but Frankie-smashing, slightly racist song writing for UKIP Mike Read. And exclusively for TOTP - Cliff has gone all mockney - well, he's drifting towards mockney, innit. That Cliff eh? Any more of this mockney malarkey and he might go the full Danny Baker. I'll keep you updated. And who's Triff introducing? Why it's only Cliff...sorry Shakin' Stevens. I genuinely can't tell you what the song is called, but he keeps shrieking 'Marie' so I'm guessing it's that. Cliff...Shakey is in Teddy Boy Hot Pink and is performing all on his lonesome tonight - a few fifties moves, hair the glistens and love for the mic stand. (ed. the song title is actually 'Marie Marie')

Back to Wright now and whassat Steve? Legs and Co? Ok. Dancing to what!? The Clash!? Yep - it's Legs and Co - dancing to Bankrobber by The Clash. All stripes, leotards and cages. If the English National Ballet did this, it be classed as 'challenging'. But as it's Legs and Co - no one bats an eyelid.

Smashy n Nicey are back together again. A little bit of Mockney from Smashy and only a smattering this time from Nicey. Oh and Elvis impersonations as the next tune is a bit of Rock n Roll from Shak...no hang on - it's Billy Joel and It's Still Rock n Roll To Me. It's a pop video, so I'm ignoring it to let you know that the best version of It's Still Rock n Roll To Me was performed by Laptop sometime in the late 90s. Seriously - dig it out. Joel gets chopped as soon as the sax solo starts to kick in - wise move Mr. BBC editor bloke - cheers!

Right back with Wright now and the countdown 30-11. Up next it's Hazel O'Connor. Ah at last - it's the eighties with Eighth Day. All that Rock N Roll had me worried for a minute. There is better work by O'Connor - honest, there is - but this isn't it. Cartoon new wave synth sounds are just the half of it - I haven't even got started on the lyrics yet. If Queen had been this melodramatic it would've raised eyebrows. Hey ho - the audience lap it up. And fair do's as it does bounce along a fair rate, O'Connor is an engaging performer and they have just been subjected to large amounts of throwbacks to the fifties.

Sir Cliff now - almost back to normal - only 10% on the mockneyometer.

It's The Piranhas and Tom Hark - one of those jaunty faux Caribbean things that you wished you'd never heard but later gets adopted by the terraces. Odd really, as its lyrics are actually an anti-nuclear war song! Yep - it's political! Not that you'd know from the bands appearance and demeanour. Peel used to love them apparently but dropped them like a stone when this came out.

Steve and Cliff again - no mockney this time and Doo-doo! Doo-doo! It's Kelly Marie and Feels Like I'm In Love. Doo-doo! Doo-doo! Kelly is dressed in a black jumpsuit with gold trim for Blakes 7 or an office party - back then it was impossible to tell. But the dancers either side suggest she may even eschew all of the above for dinner with Liberace.

pic: Gaztronix

Up next it's Steve n Cliff introducing - Cliff! Wow, how'd he do that? He's so smooth. That's not The Shadows though...I think...no idea to be honest, but if Hank Marvin isn't there then I'm guessing it's not. This is modern Cliff. It's a bizarre performance - the BBC FX Dept are having fun with this one. The band fade in and out around Cliff and shedloads of dry ice. I think the song is called Dreamin', so Cliff is dreaming of the band! Wow! D'you see wot they did there? Crazy Cliff, crazy band, crazy times! Paul Young would steal this entire sound a few years later. Cliff has a very loose arrangement with his tie and nonchalantly plays with his jacket which he casually slings around his shoulder as he sashays and dreams and pouts his way along. Rocking a look best described as 'Apollo from Battlestar Galactica on his day off heading to a picnic with friends in a park'

Countdown from 10-2. Cliff has woken up, his band have vanished and all he's got is his mate Steve. The number one and it's the godlike genius David Bowie with an absolute classic Ashes To Ashes. It's the video - Dave probably has better things to do, or maybe Cliff asked him to the picnic and Dave doesn't want to go - could be awkward. It's the whole video n all. Wright says 'some people say it's his best yet...' - he could be right. (ed. - first week at no. 1 for this Bowie single which knocked Abba off the top spot)

Back to our cheeky chappies now - cheers Cliff, who's off on tour. And that's it Folks. No idea what the end title song is - some very weak disco about All Over The World. (ed. Electric Light Orchestra!)

*in memory of the late, great Tom Hibbert


Thanks for that Gaz. We'll be back to 'normal' next week folks with more Pops fun before The Posh Proms (c) kick in. Laters!