TOTP 80.30 25/09/80

First broadcast 25/09/80
BBCFour repeat here, first shown 01/10/15
Presented by Mike Read
Guest presenters: Leo Sayer / Russ Abbott
Full chart here.


We're back! Yes indeed, after a lengthy hiatus due to Proms, BBC programming and other shenanigans your fave programme is back on the telly on a Thursday night where it always should be so to hell with the washing-up and let's get started. Over to you Mike..

No! Wait..! Where's Mike the Presenter? This is The Police thrashing around in school master garb!.. Diana Ross on her ol' Joanna and some other chaps flapping about in garish "carnival" costumes! Oh phew, here's Mike at last, in sensible-yet-trendy jacket 'n' thin tie . .had me going for a moment there.

Black Slate - Amigo
New in the charts at 35 so perfect for the slot of 'quirky' newcomer to open the show. But oh dear, what's with the over sized Speedy Gonzalez sombrero an' ting? Well, apparently according to wiki, it was "their Rastafarian rallying call". Well good for them, even though 'amigo' is actually Spanish for 'friend', no? I suppose that explains the sombrero. Don't want to give any spoilers or anything but this one shot up to no. 10 the following week, presumably on the back of this performance and having rallyed lots of Rastafarians.

Interval (already?) - and up pops chirpy chappy Leo Sayer, and what a splendid opportunity for Mike Read to do his Cliff Richard impression.
Next!

Split Enz - I Got You
Better cool things down a bit after all that Rastafarianism and get some clean white boys on to do a more sensible number. This one was creeping verrrry slowly up the charts although got a further leg-up after this repeat showing. They were Australian of course, but thankfully not a hat with corks on in sight.
Their only hit.

Diana Ross - My Old Piano
Mike Read obviously needed a bit a lie down after that cabaret number cos it's just Sayer to introduce this promo of Ms. Ross and her latest about a piano, in which the chanteuese duly cavorts around a (not so old) piano. Flick Colby take note. Another Edwards/Rogers produced Top 10 success after last summer's excellent Upside Down.

Queen - Another One Bites the Dust (Legs & Co.)
Ooooh! Speaking of ver Legs here they now, in quiet possibly their weirdest dance costumes ever. Actually it's all looking a bit 'New Romantic' even though that hasn't been invented yet. Stage designers have also evidently had a bit more time on their hands this week and have constructed a kind of corridor in a Japanese restaurant for the girls to do their thing in. And if that wasn't enough it's special effects galore to boot! I'd like to think that Bowie's Ashes to Ashes video was a big influence here, but who can say? Queen had indeed gone Top 10 with this John Deacon penned number although sadly this all-out Legs performance did little to aid its chart success. Still an ace track though.

are you ready, are ready for this?

Prior to the 30-20 chart rundown there's a short appearance from Russ Abott who, unlike Leo Sayer, is/was actually genuinely funny. Most singles in the 30-20 bracket going down, save for Bob Marley and the afore-featured Split Enz.

Ottowan - D.I.S.C.O.
Well while Queen were at least trying to do something new with 'disco' this kind of 70s-leftovers was still making it through. Mike Know-All Read has to tell us of course that this single was already a year old and that Ottawan have little or no English. Just one place behind Queen although they went on to effectively leap-frog them to reach the giddy heights of the top 3. Where's the justice?

Rundown 19-11 - quite a few post-Strike big names on the way down: Cliff, Bowie, Berry, Sheena, Sabbath, Jam, obviously leaving for space for new and exciting stuff. Some hope.

Shalamar - I Owe You One
Seems to be some kind of disco 'theme' running through this week's show, much to our chagrin. Wish they'd hurry up and invent the New Romantics. What's that? Get down the The Blitz Club if you want some new styles, new shapes...? But for the moment we're stuck with  this kind of thing. We'll be hearing more from the Shals a couple of years hence, so tune in again around 2017, Shalamar fans as this might be your lot as far as 1980/2015 goes.

Russ Abbot/Teddy Boy introduces...

Linx - You're Lying
And here's some quality Brit-disco at last. Linx were still a fairly labour-intensive soul/funk combo apparently coming out of nowhere, or perhaps from an underground Brit-soul/funk movement which has probably already been featured on a BBCFour documentary. But no matter, this really was rather good and went down well on the dance-floors of the nation, kick-starting a successful career for the David Grant/Peter Martin duo. Some ace state-of-the-art keys on stage here and they were even 'cred' enough to be featured on a future cassette compilation issued by the ultra-cred NME, rubbing shoulders with the likes of Scritti Politti, Cabaret Voltaire and, er, Furious Pig.

Top 10 rundown. and you have to listen very attentively to Read to find out what's going up or down, plus get some really interesting info about each artist. From one clip we even see that Sheena's Modern Girl works in a Chiropody Clinic. Fact.


The Police - Don't Stand So Close To Me
Although they'd done pretty well up to now, mega-stardom status for The Police officially begins here with this single staying at the top for four weeks, and likewise its parent album Zenyatta Mondatta released a week or so later. Love 'em or hate 'em Sting and pals going straight to number one (the seventh in history, right Mike?) with this new song was a due testament to their popularity and sale-ability at the time. That said, perhaps the success of the 'Don't Stand..' follow-up (which we won't mention for now) may also be a testament to the fact that the British public would eagerly snap up any old rubbish with 'The Police' written on it. But credit where credit's due for Sting's semi-autobiographical tale of a wanton schoolgirl trying to get close to 'teach' possibly in the hope of getting a better school report, or perhaps even more. A scholarly reference to 'that book by Nabakov' is somewhat counter-balanced by rhyming said author's surname with the word 'cough', and a rather shoddy promo-film showed how erstwhile 'punk' was becoming mainstream, but of course the New Romantics will be putting a bit of a shine on videos before long.

..the subject, of schoolgirl fantasies..

The chart-topping trio is soon replaced by a shambolic presenter-trio who wrap up the show with a pitiful "sketch" in which Read is suddenly heavily pregnant and nearly knocked over by a psueudo-superhero.

Change - Searching (playout)
Groan. More MOR disco to finish up, although I was surprised and interested to discover that Change actually originated in Bologna, Italy (home of lasagna and the world's oldest university) with a bit of americano/NY sparkle laid over the top like a generous sprinkling of Parmesan cheese. This one features the talents of a fledgling lead-vocalist Luther Vandross, no less, and as well as being a huge success Stateside was also doing quite well UK-side so we might be hearing it again soon.

A pretty spritely play-out with balloons, dancing and streamers! Is this the 1980s?

We might find out next week..t'ra!

TOTP 80.21 22/05/1980

BBCFour repeat here.
Full chart here.

Introduced by future UKIP supporter Mike Read. In his pyjamas.

Lipps Inc. - Funky Town

This catchy disco number has come into the charts at no. 25 apparently from nowhere, well, no. 70. An interesting record which represents a kind of crossover from 70s disco to 80s synth-pop with it's catchy beep beep tune, and girlie vocals, sax and orchestration. Although of American origin, the record had universal appeal and reached number 1 in twenty-eight countries, including the US. Let's see how it fares in the UK, eh listeners? Oh yeah: Lipps Inc....geddit?

All in all it's a fairly mixed chart with a bit of everything although - save perhaps for the above mentioned Lipps Inc. and the new entry at no. 10 there's still very little to be seen/heard of the 'sound of the eighties'. On with the show...

Lambrettas - Da-a-a-ance

So while we're on the subject of the sound of the eighties, let's go back to the sound of ...the fifties perhaps? Their follow up to Poison Ivy, not particularity brilliant but oddly did quite well for them within a question of weeks.

Michael Jackson - She's Out of My Life

TOTP producers or whoever seem to have this technique of putting a quirky upbeat, possibly 'novelty' song on at the beginning, only to immediately follow it up by a slow one, bringing the pace right down big-time. Not sure I ever agreed with that technique but hey-ho. Here's Jacko again sans frères with this fourth song from Off the Wall which had reached a massive no. 4.  So now she is out of your life, time to go and watch some horror films methinks, Mikey, before we all drop off completely.

U.K. Subs - Teenage

Let's get the punks in again to liven things up a bit. And here indeed are the UK Subs with a follow up to...the previous one. In at No. 32 and wouldn't do any better, understandably. Possibly their last TOTP?

Jona Lewie - You'll Always Find Me in the Kitchen at Parties

Unlike other synth-friendly acts from two weeks ago The Human League and OMD (but there's time yet), Mr Lewie was faring well in the charts so here's another studio performance, this time with different girlie backing singers. TOTP production go all out on this one with full 'kithcen' set up, although The Buggles' rubber gloves don't seem to feature. Still only at no. 27 though.

Karel Fialka - The Eyes Have It

Now here's a surprise - and a very odd one too. Looking very 'eighties' with jumpsuits and keyboards à la Gary Numan, to the fore, our Fialka was a half-Indian, half-Scottish, half- Czech musician and 'poet' (it says 'ere) who made a futuristic electronic based album (Still Life - ed.) and attempted to break the UK charts with this catchy nascent-electro-pop single. Ultimately he failed - perhaps a year or so too soon Kaz?

The Specials - Rat Race

For the much anticipated follow-up to their no. 1 Too Much Too Young, Coventry's finest have done one of those new-fangled music 'videos', no less, to accompany their new single. It was straight in at no. 18 although still not the highest new entry, folks. The Specials were ready with a whole bunch of fresh new material which would later materialise in the 'More Specials' LP, which sort of brought them out of black and white and into colour. I just made that up.

Cockney Rejects - I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles

Tiresome 'punk' version of an old old song which our grandparents may well have heard back in 1919. The tune was apparently adopted as the anthem of West Ham football club soon after and so that's why we have to bear this dirge in the retro-future of 1980, since said club had just won the FA Cup. On hearing of the record's chart success, Arsenal supporters were said to be as sick as a parrot.

Gary Numan - We Are Glass

He's back! Numan's impact on the late 1979 music scene both with Tubeway Army and as a solo artist with no. 1 single Cars is well documented and his importance can never be overstated. By this time Gaz had already reached a kind of cult status thanks also to his triumphant live shows towards the end of '79. So no doubt thousands of Numanoids (and me) rushed out to buy the new single, which was also being advertised as not included on forthcoming album, a shrewd marketing move making it all the more desirable. A bit of a change in musical direction compared to the more sparse electronic style of Cars and The Pleasure Principle album yet it remains classic Numan and possibly one of his last great singles. Being a super-star, Numan didn't make it to the Pops studio but had made one of those new-fangled music 'videos' (sic.) featuring laser beams, dry ice, a new black plastic state-of-the-art jumpsuit and  - shock, horror - a shiny guitar. Oh and he's seen breaking a lot of glass. Although its success was short-lived, We Are Glass would get to no. 5, his best position chart-wise after Cars.

Junior Murvin - Police and Thieves

And continuing in the Pops tradition of putting two contrasting songs back to back with no heed to continuity whatsoever, after 21st Century boy Gary Numan here's some reggae from 1976.. I imagine this one got in the charts a) on the back of the ska/reggae revival and b) thanks to The Clash's cover version, ironically unappreciated by Mr Murvin, included on their eponymous 1977 debut album. Legend has it they got the idea to do said cover version after Police & Thieves became a kind of anthem during the 1976 Notting Hill riots, in which Messrs. Strummer and Simonon gleefully took part. Anyway back to 1980 and here's Murvin doing his thang once more, with moderate chart success to come.

Average White Band - Let's Go Round Again

Has this been on before? Possibly. Is it worthy of any comment? Possibly not. A non-mover at n. 17, it would only go slightly higher the following week.

The Mash - Suicide is Painless

And now for something completely different. For those who'd been wondering where ver Legs had got to, here they are later than usual in the running order, possibly to add to the shock factor? A bunch of smooth singing Americans intoning the joys of Selbstmord to a shmoozy MOR backing was bizarre enough but now we get the girls faffing about on top of it, thankfully not interpreting the song title/lyrics as literally as usual. The tune was originally included in the MASH movie - an adaption of the original novel - and then later adapted as an instrumental for the popular TV series which ran from 1972 to 1983. Noel Edmonds was apparently to blame for reviving the single and making it a hit. And the whole thing gets even more bizarre next week, folks.

Matchbox - Midnite Dynamos

A repeat of the performance from a couple of weeks ago and a bit of a filler as it had only moved up a few places in the meantime to a measly no. 26. Not that there was much else to chose from.

Johnny Logan - What's Another Year

And here he is again, still at no. 1. We may take solace in the fact that we won't see him round these parts for another seven years. Cheers Johnny.

Jermaine Jackson - Let's Get Serious (playout)

Not wishing to be outdone by his bruv Michael, Jermaine was also goin' solo and this one did quite well. No horror movies for him though and he'll be back with his siblings for the Victory album in just a couple of years time.

All in all a bit of a lacklustre show, but I'm sure all the Karel Fialka fans were happy. See y'all next week!

TOTP 80.12 20/03/1980

BBC4 website programme page here
Official chart in full here

This week's show presented by Mike Read, so behave yourselves and mind your language. He's even got the Nerdy Student-teacher Thought Police in ...

Detroit Spinners - Working My Way.. (chart rundown)
The Spinners were up a massive twelve places to no. 8 thanks to Legs' sterling 'working-women' routine last week. In other chart action, Top 30 new entries include songs by last week's performers Genesis, The Dooleys, Secret Affair and Siouxsie & The Banshees (yay!). The Vapors are amazingly up to no. 4, Liquid Gold at 5 and Marti Webb is stable at 3, all benefiting from being featured last week, unlike The Police, Fearne Kinny, Peter Gabriel and Rainbow, who all drop. Oh, and there's a mighty new number 1...

The Bodysnatchers - Do Rock Steady
It's the quirky new band of the week, and the ska revival is obviously still going strong as demonstrated by the 'Snatchers of which there are apparently many. The two featured instrumentalists look amazingly like the two girls from The Human League, or at least how they would be some one and half years from now. Mike avoids the 'all-female band' reference but can't do without uttering another kind of sad sexist quip. Good song.

Squeeze - Another Nail in My Heart
They were on a couple of weeks back (in 1980) although we didn't get to see them (in 2015). Disappointingly underlit and Jools Holland almost off the stage and uncaptured on camera.

Rush - Spirit of Radio
"Here's Rush" says Mike but it's actually Legs & Co. time, this week in a kind of throwback '70s psychedelic dance routine thing which wouldn't actually be so bad if it were not for the fact that it's occasionally superimposed with a bizarre secondary routine of the girls dressed in 'eighties' plastic clothes listening to fake radios in improbable settings. Read obviously not paying much attention as he keeps going on about 'the band..'.

Sad Café - My Oh My
Perhaps we were unduly harsh on them towards the beginning of the year when they did Sad Little Girl or whatever, because that was actually quite good compared to this bluesy dirge. Sadly (geddit?) this is going to do quite well...

Lambrettas - Poison Ivy
Mod revival also still not dead as we get this lot - probably from Norf London - doing their version of an old song (yawn..). It's also 'drummer front stage' time although with that jumper and possibly the worst mod haircut ever, he looks as if he's hoping no-one will notice.

Barbara Dickson - January February
Before which Mike climbs up the stairs and has a Sooty and Sweep-esque conversational exchange with a fake owl. Moving on, here's Babs Dickson who - like Sad Café - did not very well with her last effort but would do nicely with this one. The song has obviously been a couple of months in the making, although a little less thought has been given to her stage outfit.

Shakin' Stevens - Hot Dog
Here he is again (third time?) and he's still only at no. 24 for Chrissakes. Time to try something else Shakes... 'Eddie Cochran of the eighties'? pah!

New single plug time: oh it's David Soul who says how much he likes 'English bands' (sic.), and, hey he's got a new single out.

UB40 - Food For Thought
Thanks to that ridiculous interlude, English band  UB40 don't get much of an introduction for their TOTP debut. On the face of it they look like a kind of all-male Bodysnatchers but of course they were much more than that. Just at no. 40 this week although this is gonna be huuuge. And yes they were singing 'Ivory Madonna'.

Martha & The Muffins - Echo Beach
Read obviously totally unimpressed by The '40 and intent only on getting his 'two Canadian bands' link in, firstly with Rush and now with Martha and her Muffs (but who are those two squares standing in front of him during this hugely important intro? one asks).  Another song the 2015 audience missed when they were on two weeks ago (in 1980), and alas for reasons best known back then, instead of the 'Pops studio performance we get a faux-live promo film this time, which is also inexplicably cut short.

B. A. Robertson - Kool in the Kaftan
I wonder what David Soul made of this? B. A. Robertson was one of those totally disagreeable characters who made a lot of semi-comic hit singles and somehow got away with it. This one takes the p*ss out of the hippy/'love and peace' movement, some ten years after such things were fashionable, so obviously even longer in the making than Barbara Dickson's latest effort. Like Barbara he's Scottish although this link has obviously escaped Read's attention as he's been too busy concentrating on Canada.

The Jam - Going Underground
At least he takes a few seconds to tell us that this next one is straight in at number one .. even though he makes it sound like it was something that happened once a month or so in those days too. NOT SO! This was a MASSIVE event for a MASSIVE single which probably hadn't even been played on the radio much at that point, also given it's semi-veiled political critique. Although taking much from the mod revival, The Jam at least managed to create something new and exciting and bring the angry young musical men sentiment bang up to date. They even had to make it into a double-A side with the softer Dreams of Children for fear of not getting Going Underground played although it was the latter and its legendary promo film (The Police, please take note) which gave them their finest moment. Mike read somewhat redeemed by stating afterwards that with this instant chart top-spot they were now up there with the likes of Elvis, The Beatles, and, er, Slade.

The Vapors - Turning Japanese
Mike keeps the new wave vibe going with The Vapors who, were it not for The Jam, may have got to the number one spot via the new wave kids spending their cash on a song about .................But that's it..! ....We'll see you next week!

TOTP 80.4 24/01/1980

Repeat showing: from 05.02.2015

pic: @OldRoberts953

Presentation duties tonight go to Mike Read, the Mary Whitehouse of Radio 1, so no swearing or mentioning sex between consenting adults. Incredibly that awful shirt of his did get past the censors. Anyway it's a real roller-coaster of a show in more ways thena one so better get cracking....

Chart rundown
Ooo - what's this? Azymuth? Makes for ace chart rundown music, they should use it every week. Would've made good theme music for something and it probably did.

The Buggles - The Plastic Age
Although their previous Video Killed the Radio Star had been a top no. 1 single some months hence, perhaps the full importance of that song had still to be fully appreciated at this point. Tonight here's the follow up in the prestigious opening new song spot, with Trevor Horn and the other bloke(s) giving us more futuristic pop sounds, sleeky production and clever clever lyrics about our not-too-distant dystopian future. The Kraftwerky intro is sadly lost here, but it's funny how Horn sounds like Jon Anderson and some point. Perhaps they should do something together with Yes.Taken from the forthcoming album The Age of Plastic - geddit?


The Nolans - I'm in the Mood for Dancing
From the lower reaches of the still non-existant Top 40 to the giddy heights of No. 4 with this new live performance by the Nolanettes complete with the legendary TOTP Orchestra. They (the orchestra) didn't appear that much but the show and indeed the whole music industry would feel the fullforce of their musicians' union-backed clout in a few months. The Girls were on fine form and evidently in the mood, for dancing obviously.


The Boomtown Rats - Someone's Looking at You

"Staying with the emerald Isle" quips Read (ouch) even though the singing sisters were from Blackpool. The Rats were no strangers to the charts, or to the TOTP studio, and this was to be their eighth top 20 hit. Full on TOTP production innovation here, cutting between the band playing 'live' on TOTP stage, Geldof even remembering to raise the mike to his mouth occasionally, and footage of selfsame Geldof watching multiple TV screens, evoking some kind of Orwellian ssurveillance-scenario. Phew, heavy.

Bee Gees - Spirits Having Flown (Legs & Co.)
..or just 'Legs' as 'Mike' refers to them, and couldn't resist the nudge-nudge wink-wink comment at the end. A nice enough Gibb-tune gracefully interpreted by  Flick Colby's girls. It had reached no. 16 but wouldn't get any higher and was indeed the last we would hear from the high-pitched siblings for quite a bit. Baz would soon be off to do other stuff with Barbara Streisand.


Joe Jackson - Different for Girls
The incredibly tall one is back this week too, and deservedly so having made it to no. 12. Make the most of it Joe, you'll have to wait another two years and release another eight singles before you get another chart hit.


Suzi Quatro - Mama's Boys
Eh? What's she doing in here? I thought we'd left Suzi Quatro clad in her leather 'catsuit' in the early 70s somewhere! Sorry, this is the eighties Suzi, we don't want you anymore. But what's that? "he touches me barely...he loves me too quickly..he's everything but manly..". Has Mike Read actually heard this?


Dollar - I Wanna Hold Your Hand
They're back after the other performance of two weeks ago, and Thereza has swapped that little back and white dress for a black and white jumper. I'm surprised how well this did as The Beatles still weren't nostalgia material yet, as we'd spent most of the 70s trying to forget them. Even The Beatles were trying to forget The Beatles. Kudos to BBCFour for leaving Read's intro referencing J*immy S*ville intact.


The Specials - Too Much, Too Young
This is more like it. Raw, mixed-race energy captured live on stage somewhere in the Midlands, no doubt. Mike Read's intro is true enough in the facts but does he know this new one is about teenage pregnancy? Incredibly he didn't get it banned from either radio or tv although this showing of the promo film cuts off before the final "..try wearing a CAP!", and no Mike, not one to keep the rain off.


Barbara Dickson - Caravan Song
Well after that injection of new youth music it's back down to earth and into the studio with a yawnsome ballad written by "the very talented Mike Batt", yes the one who wrote The Wombles songs. Not sure what this is doing here as the song didn't even make the Top 40. Batt obviously has friends in high places, including Mike Read singing his praises in a bubble above the studio.


Matchbox - Buzz Buzz a Diddle It
More nostalgia of the 1950s variety from an oddball rock n roll no sorry, rockabilly outfit who had even stole Dr Hook's maracas for this one. They'd done quite well with their previous song, the aptly named Rockabilly Rebel, although this one would do less well. A bit daft but at least Mike Read gets the horn.


Sheila & B. Devotion - Spacer

Again, a bit of a mystery why this one is on again as it was 'a non-mover at no. 20' as they used to say. Presumably to modernise things up a bit after the nostalgia acts, and get the dads interested again as Legs were on pretty early. Same promo-video as last time, featuring an amazing number of phallic symbols. Mike?




The Regents - 7 Teen
'New wave' novelty group of the week although they were no doubt taking it all very seriously. I can't seem to find out much about them so I'll be scouring Smash Hits to see if they were ever featured. The female backing vocalists remind me of the girls in The Human League who would in fact only materialise a year later. Hang on, Mike - are they singing about an under-age female doing..things?


Pretenders - Brass in Pocket
Second week at number 1 indeed and a new studio performance even though Chrissie Hynde still hasn't found a decent hairdresser and thank goodness for that! It must have been chilly in those studios cos she's wearing a jumper and a jacket and a scarf around her neck and a pair of gloves. This really was a good tune; 'tis a pity it's the last we'll hear of it on the Pops.


Kool & the Gang - Too Hot
Oh no, it can't be that chilly or at least Kool and his lot don't think it is. Another smooooth run-out this week, and unless you want to go and get some more of Mike Read 'on the wireless' (sic.) it's either Wildlife on One next or the rather more entertaining It's Patently Obvious over on Two.

See you next week...


Full chart here

For video clips see lee nichols' channel